Does Change have a heart? This question keeps hammering my mind. I am not talking about the kind of ‘change’ John P Kotter deals with in his book titled “The heart of change”, which deals with change management in the business or organisational context. I am talking about the way that life-changing events impacts on or deals with your mind, body and soul. Change in what you were used to, the way you lived, the way you thought, believed, the way you interacted with people, creation and the unknown.

Change brought about through own decision or choice and change brought about by vis major or the will and actions of others.

Loss of a loved one, grave illness, new job, baby-boomer disillusionment about the truth regarding church and state, realisation of having been a sucker for ‘brain-wash, ‘game over’, retirement, time and how the clock ticks,…..ageing and death.

Change is always tough,whether by choice or fate. Leaves little or no option for negotiation. Forces you to jump without parachute, well in most cases.

Still, Change is good, if it brings a change of  heart. If not, then it consumes the heart.

Just learned my daughter’s favorite cat died. The two little girls will be devastated. This is life and we have no control. We need to make peace with it. It is sometimes so hard!

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”
― Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein

Well, I am getting myself totally tangled here and may be it is time, for now, to bail out.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

“You can’t stop the future
You can’t rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
…is to press play.”
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

I am confused.

Eers relatief onlangs werklik kennis gemaak met hierdie lank reeds gewilde vleisdis. Die eerste poging was weens onkunde ‘n onaansienlike en haas oneetbare soutmonster wat ‘n Weskus bokkom smaakloos sou laat proe!

Wel, oefening baar kuns en hier kom dit:

Bestandele:

1. Goeie gehalte varkpens (sog-hoe dan anders?) . Tussen 1 en 1,2kg;

2. Ruim hoeveelheid growwe sout ( verkieslik dié sonder mikroplastiek in);

3. Growwe swart peper;

4. Olyfolie;

5. 4 x roosmaryn takkies.

Voorbereiding:

1. Sny met ‘n helse skerp mes snitte deur die vel of spekgedeelte ongeveer 1cm uitmekaar oor die lengte en ook oorkruis, maar sonder om in die sagte vleis self in te sny (anders as wat ek gedoen het!);

2. Besprinkel en vryf die bokant (velkant) ruim met olyfolie;

3. Vryf ruim growwe sout oor die vel en maal swart pepper daarna oor die vel;

4. Plaas die 4 roosmaryn takkies in ‘n foeliebak en lê die varkie saggies op dit neer.

Braaiproses

1.Die direkte metode word gebruik d.w.s net die onderste kolerooster word gebruik en nie die boonste braairooster nie. Plaas goeie hopies brikette in elke kole vakkie en laat brand tot al die kole mooi wit is. Plaas dan die foeliebak met die vleis op die rooster tussen die twee kolevakkies.

2. Plaas die deksel op en gaan stel ‘n wekker vir 1 uur.

3. Nou volg die belangrikste stap, so konsentreer – maak ‘n bottel wyn oop en skink ‘n glasie. Kenners meen ‘n Riesling, Chenin of Chardonnay kuier die beste met die varkie, maar dis natuurlik eers as jy begin eet! Voor die tyd is dit jou saak!

4. Moenie die deksel onnodig oplig nie. Met enigiets tussen 200 en 220 grade lyk die varkie na 30 minute ongeveer so:

3.Na ‘n uur se heerlik kuier en gesels stel jy die wekker vir nog ‘n uur. Gaan speel bietjie met die kinders, kleinkinders of die hond.

4. Maak nog ‘n bottel oop en soek na oplossings vir alles. Daar is.

5. Na die tweede uur is dit tyd vir nog ‘n bottel en ‘n verdere 30 minute se gesels, maar nou kan mens so af en toe loer. Dit behoort so te lyk:

6. Laat rus die ou varkie so 15 – 20 minute. Onthou hy is deur hengse hitte. Kry jou bykosse reg. Vir elkeen om te besluit, maar uiekwarte en baba aartappeltjies gebraai in ‘n swaar pan werk goed saam met gestoofde kweperskywe ( Koop sommer ‘n bottel). Gestoofde appels sal ook werk. Slaai is opsioneel.

Uiteindelik, maar met groot plesier!

Nou kom die heerlike smul en verder kuier! Nou tyd vir appelsap vir diegene wat nie meer kan nie en ‘n yskoue Chenin of selfs hardebaard Grenache. Skep op!

Wie ken die Karoo en meer spesifiek die Klein Karoo? Het jy enige idee wat dit aan mens doen?

Aftrede bring onvermydelik nabetragting. Dalk die meer tyd of die missie om tyd te vul, maar wat ookal, jou kop spoel terug en roep herinneringe op. Wat is meer gepas as reise na kindertyd  op hierdie tyd!

Kom ons vat die pad.

Kruisrivier se kindertyd so aan die Swartberg se voete, daar by Ant Babs se plaaswinkel, poskantoor, biblioteek en Antjie se roosterkoek.






Deur hierdie hekkie af rivier toe…. Dit is soos gister se tyd. Bosluisvoëls probeer klits van die beeste se rug. Antjie se stories langs die groot ou Aga stoof. Die reuk van roosterkoek, gesmelte botter en konfyt!

Jare later vir Rosebud saam gebring toe ons nog in die skool was en gekys.  Heerlik om die Agastoof gekuier en gedroom. Kalwerliefde uitgepluis. Heerlike ontdekkingsreise langs die pad.

Hier sit ons nou weer in Kruisrivier en stap deur Ant Babs se huis en tuin. Als vertoon snaaks genoeg nou klein…,maar tog was ek hier, maar toe nog klein. Ek voel dit in my hart, die swaeltjies in Roger Young se studiotuin, die stoep by die ou huis en die hekkie wat rivier toe lei.




Kruisrivier in die Klein Karoo – hier sal jy jou hart verloor…….

“Revelation” – ” a revealing , esp. the supposed disclosure of knowledge to man by a divine or supernatural agency” – South African Pocket Oxford Dictionary.

Attend only one event at the SASAPD (South African Sport Association for People with Disabilities) national games and the divine essence of Humanity will be revealed to you. I will put a wager on my life!

Everything on this earth is relative – what is ‘normal’, what is ‘happiness’, what is ‘confidence’ and ‘courage’? To the hundreds of kids, teens and grown-ups with physical disabilities who participated in the SASAPD National Games their lives are ‘normal’, their ‘happiness’ real and their ‘ confidence’ and ‘courage’ huge.

Our so-called ‘mainstream’ and ‘normal’ children are growing up in the so-called ‘normal’ society and very little overlap, if any, exists between the various ‘normal’.

When you spend time with the participants in the national games you observe their ‘normal’, ‘happiness, ‘confidence’, ‘courage’ and love. Suddenly your ‘normal’ society’s emotional poverty hits home. Also, the pettiness of most of the issues draining parents’ hearts, minds and pockets. Integral part of life skills ought to be a greater overlap of ‘worlds’.

I rest my case….

There is a time for everything – April 2006 introduced us to the grief therapy of Pringle Bay. Friday evening 23 September 2005 at precisely 19:05 our lives, as we lived it, came to an end. We died. How does one deal with the death of a child. There is no ‘user guide’, there are no rules……..

Jy word verplaas na ‘n nuwe dimensie – ‘n onwerklike bestaan, waarin jy verwyder staan van die hede en almal om jou vreemdelinge word.

C.S Lewis – A Grief Observed – remarks as follows in the very first paragraph of his book: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.”

Ons gemeenskap van meer as twee dekades het ‘n vreemde planeet geword. Ons het vreemdelinge geword. Ons wou ontsnap – van ontmoeting, oogkontak, retoriese meelewing uit onkunde, kommentaar sonder jurisdiksie.

Vroeg in 2006 kom Pringlebaai oor ons pad met ‘n advertensie vir die verkoop van ‘n klein cottage. Nog nooit daar gewees nie, maar kom ons gaan kyk. Ek, Rosemarie en Rozanne, boeta is in Engeland.

Ceasarweg 1374 word deel van ons terapie.

Our hideout – were we could be away, alone and adjust to our ‘new’ lives. Renovating and building our new den. To hammer away, scrape off old paint, sand, repaint and cry through intense pain and sadness became our catalist towards acceptance of that which we could not undo and where the only way was through.

Pringle het soos mos aan ons gegroei en ‘n kombersie van troos om ons kom vou deur die winter. Nella was by ons – in die wolke oor Hangklip se kop, in die swiep van die Suid-Oos op die strand, in die sand tussen jou tone,   die klipbokkie op die koppie agter die huis, die tol en blombosse se uitbundigheid en die Safari Sunset se Kersfeesmooi.
When some 7 years later we decided that it was perhaps time to move on and venture into the world to do other things, the unexpected quick selling of 1374 Caesar took us a bit off guard! When walking on the beach the last few times before saying goodbye and having just been joined by our new canine kid Emma, we suddenly realised that we have so grown into Pringle that leaving was easier said than done!

Let’s stay! Then came 565 Clarence! Magic setting next to the nature reserve! Another 5 years of bliss! Hearts were lighter and friendships grew. Pringle’s therapy. The rough edges of the stone in the heart wearing off slightly…..

Alas, there is a time for everything…..

It is time to really move on and write a new chapter. Time to explore a bigger world. Pringle will be dearly missed for many reasons – the healing, the sunsets, the locals, the memorable kuiers with family and dear friends, the best ever retirement farewell and Emma’s passion for the beach!

“All reality is iconoclastic. The earthly beloved, even in this life, incessantly triumphs over your mere idea of her. And you want her to; you want her with all her resistances, all her faults, all her unexpectedness. That is, in her foursquare and independent reality.And this, not any image or memory, is what we are to love still, after she is dead.”

C S Lewis – A Grief Observed

Who knows? …… Only Time!

How do we help our children to be free? To help and guide them towards creating their very own paradigm for thinking, understanding, action and responsibility.

Om die essensie te beklemtoon en wat belangrik is, en wat nie.

Everyone has dreams, young and old. In between there is parenthood for some, and less time for dreams. The dreams I am talking about are not those Vicky Leandros is singing about. I am talking about dreams to master something meaningful in addition to mainstream career, day to day living and secularism – to create something that sets your mind free and allows one to enter a sphere of the soul where inner peace can be found, sorrow can be processed, emotions can be set free, beauty can be honored and expression becomes limitless.

Ek wou van kleins af gedigte skryf, maar na enkele adolosente gediggies wel die lig gesien het, het die potlood gou stomp geraak en die pen droog. Dit was eers in my diepste smart wat kop en hart versoening gesoek en gevind het. Dit word mooi verwoord in ‘n gedig van Bruce Relly in sy bundel getitel: First Wild Chords

Head and Heart

I see no endless war

between head and heart,

for does the mind

not surf the crest

of the heart’s tidal longing

to let in currents

of the Universe

and , faithful to its purpose,

does the heart

not warm at these bright surges

of the striving mind

Kosbaar is ook hierdie strofe uit Stef Bos se ‘Ik Heb Je Lief’:

Wat ik ook wil zeggen
Jij krijgt mijn woorden klein
Was ik maar een dichter
Dan kon ik dichter bij je zijn
Was ik maar het bloed
Dat door jouw lichaam stroomt
Dan sliep ik in jouw hart
En ik woonde in jouw hoofd

En toe – 23 September 2005 – ‘n beker waaruit ons nooit wou drink nie, wat jy by jou wil laat verby gaan – ‘n kind se dood. Rou het nie ‘n handleiding nie, maar skryf het my Prozac geraak, ondermeer…

waar is jy –

vertel vir my

praat met my

skreeu teen die Suidoos

fluister in my oor met bakkiehand

skryf dit in die sand met laaggety

kaligrafeer dit teen die donker nag so langs die Suiderkruis

in die wolke bokant Hangklip

deur die branderraas in die windswiep op die strand

raak aan my, vertel vir my –

waar is jy?

My primary partners on this journey – Rosebud and Emma. Rosebud is a favorite alias for Rosemarie (compliments of Gys Botha during our Skedelkus safari in 2012), my other half for some 45 years through magic and struggle, happiness and hardship, bliss and blues, immeasurable blessings and sorrow………. Emma, our canine girl traveling with since 2014. Dan is daar natuurlik my en Rosebud se permanente metgesel op hierdie pad – ons Groot Seer.

Daar is vele ander wat van tyd tot tyd saam reis in ‘n verskeidenheid van dimensies. Ons pragtige seun en dogter, kleinkinders, familie en kosbare vriende.

Hierdie reis handel inderdaad met twee aftredes – die eerste in 2011 en die tweede in 2017. Die eerste kort en uit vlug gebore, die tweede afgedwing en finaal. Nou, meer as ‘n jaar na permanente aftrede weet ek dat aftrede nie vir sussies is nie. Ons hele werkslewe stoei ons met wat die lewe is en waaroor dit gaan, is dit oor ‘n dop of om ‘n vuur dikwels die kring se dieper intellektuele gesprek. Tog is dit so eenvoudig –

Let the journey begin……….

Continue reading “Journey post retirement / Reis na aftrede.” →

Ek het geen idee waarheen ek op pad is nie…. Nooit as kind ‘n dagboek gehou nie. Dagboeke was vir meisies. Nou afgetree na meer as 4 dekades van werk en die stilte en nabetragting bring jou hierby uit.

My reisgenote Rosebud en Emma (meer oor hulle later), beide in diepe verwarring oor waarheen hierdie reis ons gaan neem!    

My eerste missie is om #Wordpress te verstaan! Ouderdom is nie speletjies nie.

The idea is to capture and share – thinking, moments, feelings, taste and more. Perhaps some enlightenment re the name of the blog – Safari Sunset. The Safari Sunset is the popular name for one of the most beautiful protecea hybrids in the Protea floral creation – botanical name Leucadendron laureolum. It captures all of your senses as does an African sunset that can only truly be experienced during a journey through Africa – a Safari. This magical experience greets you with the setting of the sun as the day comes to an end. Such a moment brings a profound embrace of your entire being and the end of all journeys.

Bekende woorde van Jean-Valjean uit Les Miserables in sy soeke na sy diepste identiteit. Krisis of groot verandering in ‘n mens se lewe roep dikwels hierdie vraag op! Aftrede is so ‘n groot verandering en kan jou tot in jou fondament skud. As dit nie, is jy of breindood of onder narkose.

As relatiewe jong pensioenaris wil ek aspekte van my reis met oud en jonk deel. Nie om enige indruk te maak nie, maar eerder as terapie vir myself en ander. Die idee is beslis nie om sosiale kommentaar, gewaande wyshede of filosofiese denke op pen te sit, of te ontlok nie! Die idee is om te vertel en te deel – van reisverhale, die mooi van die natuur, kosmaak en kuier, medemenslikheid en die hart van Verandering.

Maar hierdie pad gaan baie rustig geloop word……

“When you are getting on in years (but not ill, of course), you get very sleepy at times, and the hours seem to pass like lazy cattle moving across a landscape.” – GOOD-BYE, MR. CHIPS, James Hilton.

Of teen die tempo van ‘n plat see….